Have you ever caught yourself staring into space, deep in thought? If you are an overthinker like me this probably happens more often than you would like. Being an overthinker can be both a blessing and a curse. It all depends on what your most prominent thoughts are about. In this post we will explore why our thoughts matter and suggestions on how we can manage them. I am sharing my top 4 tips to help with managing your thoughts.
Your Thoughts Matter
Ever since my earliest memories, I have always been an overthinker. I didn’t choose to be but somehow it found its way into my personality. Perhaps it’s being the eldest child or being raised in an under privileged home and witnessing the constant stress of my overwhelmed mother. Now that I am a mom, I realize that my mom was always trying to figure things out. I think my overthinking is an attempt to avoid my children experiencing any of the hardships we had. I am also a self-diagnosed empath, which doesn’t bode well for me at times, but that’s a topic for another blog.
As I grew older, I came to the realization that my mental health is important. I had to find ways to manage these personality traits that frankly, I didn’t ask for. Here are my top 4 tips to help with managing your thoughts.
Prayer
At the top of my list is talking to God. I know not everyone is religious, but this is the number one thing that has worked for me. God in fact invites us in Hebrews 4:16 to “Draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
The best way to draw close to someone is to spend time with them and to communicate. Prayer is communication with God. Whatever I am thinking or overthinking about I tell God. You may ask “Why do you need to tell Him if He already knows our hearts?” Because He wants us to build a relationship with Him. He wants us to draw near and trust Him with our lives.
Philippians 4:6-7 tells us “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Since my ultimate goal is to live peaceful, I find prayer to be the best formula for me when I realize I am overthinking things.
Positive Reframing
Since reframing can be both positive and negative, it is very important to be intentional about the positive part. When I find myself in overthink mode, it is usually disproportionately negative. Negative thoughts are not always the worst of the worst. Some thoughts cause anxiety, worry or insomnia. Some thoughts can inadvertently affect your behavior towards others and even adversely affect your health. Any thought that causes a negative physical or emotional reaction needs to, in my opinion, be positively reframed.
The Bible advises like this in Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” This is a great example of positively reframing our thoughts! Ensuring that we purposefully place emphasis on the good and positive attributes, especially when we find ourselves veering more on the negative side, will make a huge difference in our thought process. One of the ways we can do this is through mindfulness.
Mindfulness
When I first heard about mindfulness, I will admit that I was not quite sure if this was something a person of faith should be giving thought to. I misunderstood what being mindful was all about and I didn’t want to offend God. Mindfulness is simply intentionally and with great awareness, living in the present moment. But I now realize that there are many instances in the Bible when we are admonished to be mindful. There are also tons of scientific research that show the positive effects that mindfulness can provide.
Matthew 6:34 says “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” The King James Version says, “Take no thought for the morrow”. This doesn’t mean that we should not plan for our future but rather we should not allow the thoughts and planning of the future to consume or overwhelm us. A lot of the thoughts of an overthinker revolves around the “what ifs?” A lot of my thoughts were about things that hadn’t happened or may not ever have happened.
Whenever I find myself thinking too far ahead or even too far behind, I quickly revert to the here and now. What am I grateful for NOW? What positive, lovely, admirable, pure and praiseworthy thing can I identify in the NOW? Then, I think on those things and thank God that I am here, NOW, to experience them!
This often leads to me journaling!
Journaling
I really enjoy journaling! A few years ago, when my daughter was born, a dear friend encouraged me to journal as a means to express what I was feeling as a parent of a special needs child. What I found was, not only did it help me to express my many emotions, but it also helped me to manage my thoughts. By putting things down on paper, I was able to get a lot off my mind and free myself from overthinking most days.
Sometimes it takes me a while to go back to my journal to read what I put down on any given day. At times I write prayers to God. Sometimes it’s just the pure, unfiltered, raw emotions in the moment. Sometimes it comes out in the form of a story, as if I am giving a motivational speech to an audience.
Not all reflection on the past is negative. Some reflection is needed and can help us to frame our gratitude. Journaling gives me an opportunity to reflect on the triumphs God gives me in the area of managing my thoughts. Often, I find that I am better able to process whatever I was feeling or thinking at the time of my journal entry. Honestly, although my feelings were validated, a lot of my fears, worries, concerns, about possible future problems never materialized. Even when I had my most overwhelming days, journaling was like therapy! It still is!
Prayer, Positive Reframing, Mindfulness, and Journaling are just my top 4 tips to help with managing your thoughts. There are many other resources out there that can be used to help you with this very important area of your life. Try these tips out, do some research, and never feel bad about asking for additional help if you need it! Your mental health and overall well-being are important!
You may also enjoy some of these other faith-based posts.