Prayer is a powerful tool! Here are some tips to help couples unlock the answers they seek!
Anyone who has been blessed to find true love and companionship will agree that it is one of the most beautiful relationships and yet can be one of the most challenging for couples. Everyone dreams of having the perfect relationship, the perfect family, the perfect life, but truth be told, life, although it most definitely should be celebrated and lived to the fullest, does have a way of throwing us unwanted curveballs. It’s in times like these when sadly a lot of couples either drift apart or throw in the towel.
Having God at the center of your relationship is always the best decision for any couple but when you pray together you take that relationship to a whole other level. Prayer is a powerful tool that God has blessed us with so that we can communicate with Him. James reminds us in James 5:17 that Elijah was a man like us whose earnest prayers were answered both when he asked for there to be no rain and when he prayed for the rain to return to Israel. Like I said, prayer is a very powerful tool.
Most of us are familiar with praying individually, in our own way and own space, but I have read a few articles that state that fewer than 11% of couples actually pray together. God indeed calls us to have personal relationships with Him but Ecclesiastes 4:12 reminds us that a three-strand cord is not easily broken. The third strand in a couple’s relationship is God and when you pray together, to Him, you create a force to be reckoned with against the devil. Here are some tips to get you started:
Talk about your Beliefs
For couples who are dating, it is especially important to talk about what you believe regarding God and spirituality. Make sure that before you make the decision to get married that you are clear on your expectations regarding what role God will play in your lives together. There is a good reason why 2 Corinthians 6:14 admonishes us to not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. Imagine you or a loved one is sick and you desire to pray with your partner for healing but your partner does not believe in God’s power to heal. Although your partner may agree to be physically present with you during prayer, they may not be spiritually present and sadly you may not be tapping into the power that Matthew 18:19 talks about. This of course does not take away from God’s ability to heal but you need to be clear on whether you are fighting this battle with or without your partner.
Talk about your beliefs before and after you are married. It’s okay to have differences of opinion even when it comes to God’s word. Talking about it allows the opportunity to have meaningful discussions, share scriptures and study the word together. All of which will help to strengthen your relationship with God as a couple and with each other.
Set a Consistent Time for Prayer
Agreeing to pray together will not automatically result in it happening. Something is bound to always come up. Work is hectic, the children’s schedules are hectic, the dog gets sick, and life just happens. You will need to decide on how frequently you will come together and the best time of the day to pray together. That may be early in the morning before the kids get up or at night after everyone else has gone to bed. You may decide that once per week is sufficient or that every day is better. I suggest that you both seek God’s guidance together to determine what is best for you and your family. The truth is that whatever schedule you decide, it will take some sacrificing from both of you to make this happen.
Having consistent times to pray is not new. In Acts 3:1 we see Peter and John going to the temple together at the time of prayer which was three o’clock in the afternoon. Being consistent with the time will foster a routine that will become easier for both persons to adapt to. You will begin to look forward to spending that time together in prayer. You will look forward to bringing those prayer requests to each session and feeling a sense of comfort knowing that you can offload those burdens on God together.
Be Honest
I am sure we can all agree that being honest in our relationships is a fundamental part of keeping them strong. I believe that the same can be said about our prayer life. When couples come together to pray there should be honesty. James 5:16 tells us to confess our faults to one another and pray for one another so that we may be healed. That healing can encompass spiritual, physical and emotional healing. It goes on to say that “the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective”.
We all know that no one is perfect or without sin (Romans 3:23) so who is the righteous person referred to here? I used to think that surely this righteous person is a leader in the church or someone who has been seemingly living the Christian life for a long time. I pictured the elderly church ladies with the hats and handkerchiefs who sat in the front pew and led the weekly prayer meetings. So, this verse is saying go get one of them to pray for you right? It would not be wrong to do so and there may be times that is needed, but you can most certainly also talk to your partner about your shortcomings. Your partner does not have the power or authority to forgive your sins but the act of confessing to them is an acknowledgement that you need or would like help in a particular area through the power of prayer. It signifies that you trust them with the information and opens the door for the healing that is required.
Confession also opens the door to repentance. Once you share honestly with your partner the things that you may be struggling with, you can pray together for God to work in that area. Repent and humbly ask God for forgiveness and accept His grace. This is what I believe makes you righteous before God. And when two righteous people get together in prayer, James clearly tells us that their prayers are “powerful and effective”. I don’t know about you, but I need my prayers to be powerful and effective!
Study the word of God
Talking about beliefs, setting a schedule and being honest with each other are all fabulous steps to take when beginning couple’s prayer time. I also want to encourage you to study God’s word. God most certainly does hear and answer prayer. 1 John 5:14-15 tells us, that “if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us”. The sure way to get answered prayer is by praying according to God’s will. How will you know the will of God without studying His word?
When we know the will of God for our lives then we can shut down any lies the devil tries to tell us. Whatever your needs are, study to see what God’s word says about that need then remind God of His word through prayer. You can pull down strongholds and wage effective war in the spiritual realm….together!
Don’t Wait
Remember God tells us, “Where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them” Matthew 18:20. That means that when you and your partner come together, especially in prayer, God shows up according to His promises.
Don’t put off praying together. There is no perfect time and no perfect words because we are not perfect people. Remember God moves according to His perfect timing, not ours! So don’t be discouraged if you get a delayed response. Here is an article that helps you through the waiting process, 5 Things to Do While Waiting on Answered Prayer. God only wants us to start where we can and reap the powerful benefits that He affords to us through answered prayer.
So, grab your partner and maybe a cup of tea. Make praying together a part of your lives, you won’t regret it!